End of the year thoughts

I look back on 2011 and I cannot help but be thankful for what God has provided for me in this year alone. I can honestly say it has been one of the best years of my life. It has shown me true friendship, unconditional love and growth. 

Beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3) hits hard. I can turn on the news or surf the web and within a minute see ugliness but I can also dig deep and see all the beauty around us. I can see the things God has for me. I see the sunset he has so passionately painted for me, I see the work he has done in my family’s lives, I see the knitting together of friendships, and I see the deep passion he has to be in my life.  That’s all I need. 

I cannot say this year has been perfect, like any other year there has been pain and trails but when I look back on my life I can wipe all the ugliness and hurt away with beauty and love. 

All I can say is that I love my life and the things God has given me. I love you, yes all of you. Even when sometimes I don’t like you I will always love you because God loved me first.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives this year, whether it was just a hi and by conversation or a long in depth one, thank you. You allowed me to be in your life and that is a blessing.  

On this last note, I would like to say sorry if I hurt you this year, even just a little bit. Know this, I did not mean to. Forgive me and I hope we can grow even more in this next year.  

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!

With lots of love, 

Alyssa Clark

4/15/2011

I am so thankful that I have a God that loves me through all my faults. He see's my weakness and he doesn't discard me...He pushes me to be what He knows I can be. He doesn't laugh or mockingly joke about the stupid or ashamed. He doesn't judge me or anyone else. He feels sadness that we can find all these faults in ourselves and others but he would never say those are true. He would encourage us to move on. To be better but not forget who we are. I may not be the most intelligent person, I may not be the fastest nor prettiest but (excuse my language) dammit I am beautiful, I am intelligent and I can run as fast as HE wants me too! I am graceful, beautiful and a respectable person in his eyes and no one can change that!

I have been trying so hard to be that respectable woman, to be a good wife and good friend and a good daughter but goodness in this worlds eyes I will never achieve that goal. All I can do is carry on my desire and Gods desire to serve people. To give my all to them even if they don't see it. Eventually they will and I don't expect anything back from anyone I ever help, pray for or even give to. I just want to know that I in myself can be that person. That loving behind the seen person! I can be what God calls me to be!

Thank you God for understanding me in my weakness's and strengths. You amaze me each and every day. I love you and I am working towards being more like you.

Secret Blessings

I sometimes forget how blessed I am with my friendships. I truly am. Just an everyday normal conversation with a friend of mine brought to light so much that has been on my mind. Nothing he said in particular just that what he was saying was the life of our friends and our family. It was the fact that we consider each other family even though we really aren’t.

I love being spoken into without the other person even knowing. They don’t even realize the blessings they put on others. Secret blessings can sometimes be the best of blessings!

I am so looking forward to living in the present. Enjoying this time I have on earth with my friends and my family. Planning for the future at the same time but enjoying what I have while I have it! How lovely it sounds to spend the summer with my husband and my family. I am looking forward to this year and the things God is going to do in it!

Love, love, love

Alyssa

servant.

I have been thinking a lot about who I am and who I want to be lately. Whenever I ask God about this, whenever I even think about it two words always comes to mind. Servant and helper. They both essentially mean the same thing. For the longest time I would get frustrated with these two words. Not because I don't like them. They really are who I am but how does that help me learn what to do with my life? How do I put helper on a resume? How do I go to school to be a helper or a servant? It was something I just never understood.

Recently God opened a door. One that I understood as soon as He spoke it to me. One of those clear as day moments to were you know you are supposed to be doing that. I don't usually hear what I am supposed to be doing or understand it but this time I did. I knew God had called me to be a helper and a servant and I was finally told how to be that.
I am supposed to help with my church. You may say well isn't everyone? Yes but for me this is different. Helping in a different way. I was to help the Pastors in our church specifically the Youth Pastor and College age Pastor. I was to be there for them when they needed anything. I started Wednesday helping at the church and it felt so good to be doing that. Like God you knew this was for me. He knew this is what I loved doing. Helping do the little things that no one may notice but they make a huge impact on the way things go. I love being that person. I love doing those things.
There was one problem though. And as I sat in a meeting I was trying to figure out a way to make this problem go away. I need a job that pays. So I can help with the bills because once you get married things suddenly become a bit more then what they were before.
As I sat in this meeting something presented itself, like it was for me. A job opportunity that would help me do everything I want to do. To keep serving and helping in the ways I love to. It was going to be the key for me to keep living the life God has called me to do.
I applied for the job and have not yet been called but I really feel like this is for me. This is something that would not only make the life of my husband and I easier but make the way I can serve better.

So I am asking that everyone keep praying that I get this job. It is an opportunity that I don't think I will get again! My husband and I have been praying like crazy but I think we need a bit more help so I am asking you. Please be praying that this job is for me and that I will get it.

Thank you and I will be sure to update you on this.